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Tired of feeling like emotional garbage? Feel better instantly with this trick for maladies and ailments.

Unwelcome. If I had to choose one word to describe Petra, unwelcome would be it. A not-so-pleasant parasite I picked up in Thailand, Petra’s mission in life was to make me miserable, and boy was she good at it. She plagued me for two years before I was able to shake her.

At first Petra was not Petra, but a malady known as Tonsai Tummy, common in the popular climbing area of Thailand I was visiting. My friend and I both got it, then spent 24 hours lying on the floor of our shared bathroom alternating between who’s turn it was to use the toilet, and which end we’d evacuate.

I arrived home a little worse for the wear, and resumed my normal activities. All save for one. Or, I should say, for #2.

I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say I spent months in gastrointestinal misery. One traumatizing stool sample later, I learned that a havoc-wreaking parasite was living in my tummy. We treated it with industrial strength antibiotics; effectively napalm for your belly. When that wasn’t enough, we hit her again. Petra was finally gone, but her afterlife haunted me for another year and a half.

All told, it was two years before I “resumed my normal activities”.

As you might imagine, the entire experience was emotionally draining. I found it hard to talk about, even though it was the only thing I could think about. Every time someone asked me how I was feeling, it became this intense, emotional conversation about my insides. I was the center focus. I hated it.

Then I remembered a tip from my friend Amber. After overdeveloping scar tissue from knee surgery, where rods were placed to stabilize the damage, she struggled mightily for years to regain full mobility. She grew tired of talking about her knee, and decided one day to name this thing Rodney. You know, for the rod… in her knee?

Suddenly whenever anyone asked How are you feeling? she could tell the truth. Rodney is being a real dick lately. He just won’t bend, and it’s like, come on dude, give me something to work with.

By giving her physical discomfort a name, this thing that she was dealing with became a separate being with its own identity. People could ask how she was doing without getting personal. And she could share how things were actually going without it turning into a pity-party.

She changed the game.

Naming my parasite Petra gave me the freedom to talk about “her” as someone causing distress to me, vs. talking about me being in distress. The difference is subtle, yet profound. Naming your maladies, however insignificant, removes their power over you. It gives you autonomy. It separates your emotional turmoil from this thing that is causing you pain. And it gives others the freedom to ask about it in a lighthearted way. Wow really? Rodney is such a dick!

Whether you have a bum shoulder, a broken tailbone, a weird thumbnail, a fake blister, a bunny-shaped hematoma, a recurring benign gonad cyst, or anything in between, I hope you choose to name your malady. I promise naming your ailments and maladies will help you feel better instantly. Bonus points for an awesome ailment alliteration.

Naming Petra was the best decision I ever made. She was along for the ride whether I liked it or not. I’m glad I finally decided to roll out the welcome mat.

Like this post? Read more about my past injuries in this roundup, including the time I tried to punch Whistler Mountain with my face (and lost). You can also read all about Petra and our not-so-lovely time together. Many apologies to my friend Petra, a human woman, who I met shortly after naming Petra the Parasite.