I’m a bit of an old soul. I like to read real books and write with a pen and paper. One thing I really love is sending and receiving cards in the mail. It’s a dying practice, but some of my very favorite people are those who still send cards to say thank you, happy birthday, merry holidays, or hey, I was thinking about you and just wanted to send this card to let you know.

Recently my friend Jason made another trip around the sun. He wasn’t overly excited about this particular milestone, and he chose to quietly remove his birthday from Facebook so no one would make a fuss. Instead, he planned to spend his “special day” ignoring the fact that he was now one year (and one decade) older.

I had other plans.

Like me, Jason is a bit of an “old-soul”. He listens to jazz and appreciates time in the mountains and cooks things from scratch and, most importantly, takes the time to truly connect with people in a meaningful, authentic way. We’ve recently experienced a huge amount of loss in our friend group. Through it all, Jason was steadfast in his support of everyone, making sure we all knew he was there for us, but also how he felt about us and WHY he appreciated us in his own life.

If anyone earned the right to not celebrate a birthday, it was Jason. And I wasn’t about to drag him out to one of my ridiculous theme parties. Instead, I wanted to honor the person he is by helping him realize just how much he means to our community. So I set up a private FB event about a week before his birthday and invited 100 of our mutual friends to participate.

The ask was simple: send Jason a birthday card and write a personal note about what he means to you. That’s it.

I had no idea what to expect, and of course Jason had no idea what was coming. But what happened next truly was remarkable.

First, he got 4 cards.

Then 7. And 13. Then 13 more.

And they just kept on coming.

By his birthday, he’d received more than 40 cards. All from people in his life who care about him. And each one with its own personal flair.

Equally remarkable was the sense of community it built for many of us participating. Without my prompting, someone posted a photo of their card on the event page. Lots of folks ‘liked’ that post. Then more people posted their cards.

The cards! The cards did not disappoint.

Understandably, Jason was confused by the sudden bloating of his mail box. He sent me many text messages trying to get to the bottom of the “Birthday Card Fairy” mystery. He sent photos of the cards, which I turned around and shared on our event page for everyone to see. Then I had folks asking me every day how many he had received. “Did Jason check his mail yet?”, they would ask. “What’s the total up to now?”. “Did he get mine?!?”. The excitement for all of us “behind the scenes” was unexpected and completely fantastic.

All of this had a surprising and profound affect on me. I knew what was coming, yet being a part of the surprise for Jason made me incredibly happy. Knowing what it meant to Jason, being a part of making his unwelcome birthday a cause for celebration, was incredibly powerful.

After the big secret was revealed, Jason and I talked a lot about what the Card Mob meant to him, and in turn how it affected all of us involved. I invited him to the secret event page, and after reading all of our funny updates to each other, this was his post to the group page (shared with permission):

What you did changed my world and I am so grateful. This is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Besides being the best birthday present EVER, the personal notes have meant so much to me. Thank you so much for sharing such nice and wonderful things. I could hear and see each one of you as I opened the card. To say I am touched does not even do it justice. I can’t even being to describe the love and respect I have felt. Thank you all for the best birthday ever. 

This was the best birthday ever for me too, and it wasn’t even my birthday!

Acts of kindness can change the world (even if it’s just your small, immediate world), and, more importantly, can change YOU. It’s a wonderful feeling to truly touch someone’s heart. Jason likes to say the heart is an emotional muscle and becomes stronger with exercise. I have to agree with him. And we all will benefit from being better at telling the people in our lives just how much they mean to us.

Next time you’re in need of a birthday gift idea, plan a card mob. It will change you too. I promise.