An FKT, or Fastest Known Time, is a speed record on any given route. First popularized by “extreme” athletes, FKTs became mainstream with the launch of Strava and their King/Queen of the Hill designation. Soon, all sorts of “athletes” were setting “records” for any ole achievement. Which just proves you can do anything you set your mind to. And, new FTK opportunities abound right now, so here are 9 New FKTs to earn during COVID-19.
You no longer have to be Alex Honnold & Tommy Caldwell with their sub-two hour speed record on the Nose or Kilian Jornet with his climb of Everest in 26-hours to earn a FKT. With everyone following stay at home orders, you have the opportunity to discover new FKTs in your own backyard. Just like objects in your household with which to practice crevasse rescue, the FKTs waiting for you are endless. In fact, you’re probably already a FKT holder and don’t even know it!
To celebrate YOU, here are nine FKTs you can earn right now. Compete against yourself or hustle against others in your household. Since there’s no official governing body for FKTs, you won’t get a medal for your achievements, but if it makes you feel better you can buy gold stars to put on your vision board (I know you have one). Technically, you should time yourself doing said tasks to be sure you’re clocking the fastest time, but since I’m going going to come to your house to verify your work, you do you.
Get out of bed and put on real pants
I know, I know. It’s hard to get up in the morning and motivate to get dressed for your home office. But you’ve been wearing those same sweatpants for weeks and I can smell you from here. Put on real pants, and do it quick, then give yourself an FKT.
Make your bed
On a related note, you could probably also wash your sheets and make your bed. Time yourself from the moment you pull the soft, fluffy, clean sheets from the dryer to the time the bed is completely made. Studies show that a made-bed make a room look 34% cleaner. You’re welcome.
Shave your legs in the shower
(Or, for the men, shave your face.) For those of us who have been growing leg hair-beards since this all began, shaving will take longer than others. But the more frequently you shave the faster it will go, giving you the opportunity to best yourself with every shower. Don’t feel like shaving? That’s cool – it’s a choice. Work on braiding your leghair as an FKT instead.
Hike Mailbox
Outside of Seattle there’s a popular hike known as Mailbox Peak. It has – you guessed it! – a mailbox at the top where people stash all sorts of goodies for other hikers to find. While hiking to your own mailbox is certainly not as exciting, you might find a new stimulus check in it this week, so… there’s that bandaid to “fix” a severed carotid to look forward to!
Unload the dishwasher
I despise unloading the dishwasher. So much so that I will passive-aggressively leave dishes in a full dishwasher without running it, and then will passive-aggressively leave clean dishes after it’s been run. Only at home though. At work I unload it because there someone can see me being a hero. If the prospect of earning an FKT for unloading the dishwasher at home might be the only way to get you to stop being a passive-aggressive a-hole like me, set that timer and get to stacking plates!
Mow the lawn
If you have a lawn, chances are you haven’t mowed it since last year. Whip out that mower and go for an FKT! If you take a different route every time you mow, each mowing sesh will earn you a new FKT. You may also earn some Vitamin-D, which will also do you good. You’re so pale, I think I can see through the skin on your hands.
Fold AND put away laundry
If you’re anything like me, the folding of the laundry is relatively straightforward, but the putting away of the laundry is where all hell breaks loose. Challenge yourself to a new FTK to do BOTH! Set that timer, blast Backstreet Boys (what? they have great house chore music!), and fold and stuff until your drawers are packed and your couch has a space for you to lay down without needing to burrow under a clothing blanket.
Go around the block
A little girl on my street is a queen when it comes to riding her unicycle. I watch her float effortlessly over our imperfect sidewalks and envy her flawless technique and complete lack of fear. Be like the unicycle queen. Pick a mode of transportation and see how fast you can go around the block. Power walk. Jog. Run. Lunge. Bike. Crab walk. Squat waddle. Somersault. Wheel flip. Dogsled. Skin. Cartwheel. Handstand walk. Pogo stick. The opportunities are endless.
Visit the grocery store
I once set a land-speed record at Costco of which I am quite proud. Thanks to my resourcefulness (and crushing humility), I was in and out of there in 6-minutes. Granted, I only had to purchase four items, there wasn’t a line at the check out, and I was wearing Heelys to scoot around behind my cart to the great amusement of the children and great horror of their parents, but still, SIX MINUTES! On a related note, Coscto might just be the best place in the world to wear Heelys, and before you ask, they do come in adult sizes.
That’s it! 9 New FKTs To Earn During COVID-19!
Go forth and conquer! And if you earn a new FKT during COVID-19 I didn’t list, leave a comment and brag about it!
Trackbacks/Pingbacks