My friend is a real Dick. I had the audacity to post a photo of me with “Rollercoaster Face” in the mountains, and he decided to respond with a rewrite of “Colors of the Wind” from the not-at-all racist, highly popular Disney film Pocahontas. I loved it. I made some minor tweaks to the language and am pleased to now represent his masterpiece to you here.


Written by Dick McManus and Kristina Ciari. Illustrated by Disney, with assistance from Craig Hull Rididulous Photoshop.

You think I’m a frivolous skier
And you’ve been so many resorts
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the silly one is me
How can there be so much that you don’t know
You don’t know
You think you own whatever hill you ski on
The piste is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every slope and ridge and aspect
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name
You think the only skiers who are skiers
Are the skiers who look and think like you
But if you wear the tutu of a stranger
You’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew
Have you ever seen a crevasse crack through the new fallen snow
Or asked the toothless skibum why he smiled
Can you ski with all the shredders in the mountains
Can you play with all the tutus in the wild
Can you play with all the tutus in the wild
Come race the hidden tree runs of the forest
Come taste the local ciders in the lodge
Come play in all the powder all around you
And for once, try to leave your ego at home
The snowstorm and the whiteout are my brothers
The headlamp and hot tub are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
On a mountain, in a season that never ends
How deep is the powder snow
If you pack it down, then you’ll never know
And you’ll never hear the silence of the new fallen snow
For whether we’re on piste or backcountry
We need to revel in the the winter all around you
We need to enjoy every last turn we ever ski
You can own the slopes and still
All you’ll own is snow until
You can ski with all the tutus of the wild