Turns All Year: Months 82-83

Turns All Year: Months 82-83

These are not my people. My people approach April with glee, knowing the best adventuring opportunities of ‘Volcano Season’ are right around the corner. May and June, and sometimes July, bring an ample harvest of spring corn in the sunshine. Slushy-turns,...
Don’t Cry Over Spilled Booze

Don’t Cry Over Spilled Booze

Even if the glass hadn’t shattered everywhere, the snow was too dirty to make any remnants salvageable. The malted-brown goodness Andrew had carried for hours was gone forever, dissolving before our eyes into the frozen earth. We’d be spending New Year’s Eve without...
Extreme Fun for Turns All Year: Month 81

Extreme Fun for Turns All Year: Month 81

Get into the car wearing nothing but a tank top, shorts, ski boots, and tutu (duh). Go on a five minute ride. Walk 30 seconds, on snow, to the top of a flat landing and click into your skis. Sloosh your way down for 750ish vertical feet on perfect, skier-groomed corn....

The Backcountry Tutu Is Dead

No one is saying anything. It’s as if this pink, pouffy, tulle-tastic monstrosity is not adorning my waist. Do you not see me? Or are you pretending not to see me so you can avoid saying hello you passive-aggressive, Pacific Northwestern, son-of-a-bitch?!I have...