Turns All Year: Month 78

When you’ve been skiing for 78-months in a row, it’s easy to lose track of days and months. I like to compare it to your mid-twenties in terms of aging. At some point, you just forget how old you are. Skiing every month for as long as you can remember and...

The Backcountry Tutu Is Dead

No one is saying anything. It’s as if this pink, pouffy, tulle-tastic monstrosity is not adorning my waist. Do you not see me? Or are you pretending not to see me so you can avoid saying hello you passive-aggressive, Pacific Northwestern, son-of-a-bitch?!I have...

When Outlandish Becomes Ordinary

The flashing “new” button draws me in to a never-ending cascade of cached shows waiting impatiently to be watched. I’m completely addicted to The Bachelor, Real Housewives of Orange County, and America’s Next Top Model, among others. I...

The Birthday Twofer: Helens + Hood for 34

She was 40 weeks + 10 days pregnant, the size of a house, and mowing the lawn on a sunny Saturday in May to encourage the baby to hurry it the hell up already. Maybe it was the smell of freshly cut grass or the heat of being crammed inside, but the baby began to make...

Introducing the Alpine Gimonade

My hands are burning from the cold. I’m squeezing fistfulls of snow into small ice balls to put in our cups, and I think I’ve hit the threshold of effective hand-warmth-to-ice-creation-ability ratio. After 11 hours on my feet with a 46lb pack, I have high...

Keep Your Gear In Good Shape With “The Shower Rule”

The smell hits you in the face before you can put your key in the door. An aromatic mixture of wet dog, aggressive sweat, and stale Fritos wafts through the air, stinging your eyes and assaulting your nose. It’s so bad, you can taste it.You left your wet, sweaty...

The Sexy Allure of Turns All Year

  You can feel the sunburn forming inside your nostrils. Despite regular applications of sunscreen, your nose keeps running, wiping away any hope of a blister-free tomorrow. You silently curse yourself for forgetting a critical piece of gear: a buff.It’s...

Turns All Year: Month 77

Pink. Fluffy. Attention grabbing. This brings the party wherever it goes. I can think of about a million good reasons to wear one, and exactly zero reasons not to.I’ve skied for the last 78 months in a row, and my trusty companion has been with me through it all. Why...