Last year, we mutually agreed that we’re bailers. You bail. I bail. We bail. This begs the question: What type of bailer are you?
Since it’s not a matter of when you’ll bail, but how, Theresa and I created a list of the different types of bailers. In Part I, we explored six different types of bailers, from least-egregious to most-offensive. We also celebrated the seventh, most illustrious bailer: the Unicorn. The Unicorn never bails (and always brings the best car snacks). You want to be a Unicorn.
After publishing the list, readers shared the other types of bailers they’ve experienced. Without further ado, here are the new amendments to the list, in no particular order:
Soloist
You’re a solo traveler. You prefer to be on your own. Despite this well-documented fact you sometimes make plans with friends thinking this time it will be different. It’s NOT different. You feel so overwhelmed with the coordination logistics that you have a planning meltdown and it all gets to be too much so you bail. You want to be that person who adventures with others (lord knows you already have more than enough selfies in the backcountry!), but you just aren’t. Solo is your style, and we love you anyway.
Self-Bailer
You have high-hopes and big plans with yourself, but you lack an accountability buddy to help with follow through. Unlike the soloist, who actually loves going out alone, you want to love going alone but you only have the motivation to carry out your plans 32% of the time. So you bail on yourself. A lot. Don’t lie to me Susan. We all know you stayed up too late watching funny cat videos then hit snooze on your alarm three times this morning and skipped the gym. Again.
Designated Bailer
You do not assume this position so much as you are collectively assigned this position by your group of fellow adventurers. You are the brave individual who will “call it” when everyone else is too chicken shit to say what they’re thinking out loud. Once you announce it’s time to pull the plug, everyone breathes a collective sign of relief. Most people don’t want to be the designated bailer, but all people want there to be a designated bailer.
After-Party Bailer
You know you shouldn’t have, but you went ahead and made evening plans that almost, but not quiet, overlap with the primary objective. When things with your original plans change slightly – say, you’ll be home 20 minutes later than scheduled – you bail. You couldn’t possibly bail on your evening plans, even though you made those second, since Jill is making a soufflé and you promised to bring the bread and cheese plate!
In Over My Head Bailer
You bail mid-adventure because you overestimated your own abilities. This means you may suffer from an over-inflated sense of self, in which case you should get that looked at by a licensed professional. It might also mean you didn’t follow the steps to be a good adventure buddy, which has put you in a situation you didn’t anticipate. If you do need to bail because you’re in over your head, be honest about it and apologetic to your partner(s). We’re human, and we’ve all been there. The more humble you can be, the more likely you will be to get an invite to try again in the future.
Couple Bailer (aka the Double-Dipper Bailer)
You, my dear brave soul, made plans with a couple. And while you may have made plans with two people, they’re essentially one giant blob of a person, and when they bail it happens in pairs. Maybe they stayed out too late last night or one of them got food poisoning and now the other is worried about getting it too. Regardless of the reason, they bail and you didn’t invite other people because you figured you were covered. Sorry chump. You aren’t.
Accidental Unicorn
Unlike the real Unicorn, you have stumbled into the role of ‘Unicorn’ accidentally. It’s not that you never bail, it’s that you are the last one to bail in a given situation. Let’s say you live in Seattle and you’re supposed to go to a backcountry hut but it’s rained 3” in the last 24-hours. No one wants to go, and everyone else on your trip bails. Only, instead of also bailing, you say, “Bummer friends. I get why you don’t want to go, but if you change your mind I’m still down!”. Obviously, you don’t mean it. You absolutely don’t want to go either, but you say this to save face and preserve your pristine reputation. Deserving of the Unicorn title you are not, but being the sly fox that you are, you get it anyway.
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